Day to Day.

This week, my students take their 2nd exam. It is unbelievable to me that we are already a third of the way through the school year.

I feel like I have so far to go in becoming the teacher I want to be, but at the same time, I feel like I have come so far from where I was last year. By this time last year, I was completely and utterly overwhelmed. I didn't think I could do this anymore. I wanted to quit. I wanted to walk away, work retail if I had to, move back to Ohio... anything I could do to get out of this mess I had gotten myself into. I felt like everyday was a failure, and I hated having to stare myself in the face everyday and admit that this just might not be what I'm meant to do with my life.

Honestly, I felt like I was literally drowning. Things got really bad, and I hit rock bottom. At some point, I found myself throwing my hands up in the air, pleading with God to help me, and admitting to Him that I could not do this alone. I needed Him. I needed God to take the wheel and steer, because I couldn't do it anymore. And it was then that things started getting better. It was a weight off of my shoulders. I could finally begin to see clearly, and make my way through the day, focusing on one task at a time.

And somehow, I made it to summer. And somehow, I convinced myself that I wanted to go back and try it all again.

And things are not perfect- far, far from it. Teaching in an urban middle school has its own set of challenges that I never thought I would have to face. The teaching, that's easy. The classroom management and the discipline is where things get sticky. But I'm doing better. It's getting better. And someday down the road, I'm sure I'll have a handle on it. Right now, day to day is the way of life for this Teacher Girl.